Ethan's Age

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Mom Friends, the people who truly understand you.

(J is a mom friend, who's identity I'm protecting.  Mostly because she's too awesome, and I can't reveal her true identity, or everyone will swarm her and want to be her friend... using up her friend credit, leaving none for me.  Or because I don't want her work cred to go away. Pick one.  Or both.)

J: My son has been sleeping a lot in the past 48 hours. Like 13 hours last night and then took 2 naps and is in bed 3 hours before his normal bedtime. When he's awake though, he's perfectly happy and eating fine. He just started running and is burning off so much energy along with cutting four teeth. But I'm worried he's sleeping too much?? 

Me: "I'm J, I hate that my child sleeps. I will complain about how much relaxing time I get when he sleeps a lot."

J: it's more like "I'm J, an anxious mess that worries about every little hair on my child's perfect head. I need therapy but unless I have "depression" as a diagnosis, my insurance won't pay for a therapist. Therefore, I turn to the internet and Facebook mommy groups for advice!" Thanks Julia for confirming my fears: I am indeed a hot mess.

Me: If only you knew a friend who has a psychology degree. COUGH COUGH. (This Girl!)

J(A nurse): I thought we weren't offering support in our areas of expertise? I offered to help you with a PAP months ago but you declined??

Me: Me offering help for your brain is way less weird than you offering help for my vagina.

J: I disagree! You know how many vaginas I've seen at work, they all look the same.

Me: My vagina is way more awesome than the rest. I'm pretty sure if you saw my vagina, you could no longer examine lesser vaginas.

J: Unless you have a special vagina? Like rainbow pubic hair or a porn star arrow shaved in to it?

Me: One word. Vadazzled.

J: Wow Julia, I suppose you are right. If your vagina is as awesome as your personality than I can only imagine what's inside your pants. Jon is a lucky man!!         

No comments:

Post a Comment