Ethan's Age

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Full Circle

Ethan's first birthday is this weekend, and I felt it was about time to take him to meet a fantastic woman, Dr. Awesome.

Since this is a public blog, I am not posting her real name, unless she chooses to let me know that's ok.  But, she is an RE/Surgeon here in the Portland Metro area.

One of the first things she told me after all the testing I went through near the beginning of my infertility journey was "You will be a mom."  I took a lot of solice in that and held on to that idea through the couple of years it took, the hundred clomid pills I took, the surgery I had, the MC I had... and finally the scary first trimester of my baby boy.

The last time I saw her was when I was 8 weeks pregnant.  (Sometime in April of 2011.)  It was like old times... except without having to be half naked and worried about what my follicles were up to.  We chatted about life, and Ethan.  About her experience with her kids, and my labor plans and subsequent throwing out of those plans.  My hopes and dreams for more children, and Jon's satisfaction with one.

She asked me if it was weird to come back to the RE office.  It was, but I didn't really realize it until later.   I was uneasy sitting there, where I had sat no less than a couple dozen times along the years.  All of those times I was stressed out about what my body was doing.  Two of those times were during my MC.  Multiple times, I cried there.  Multiple times I laughed.  But as I sat there with Ethan, there was a peace of being in the office without "needing to be there."

What I didn't say was how thankful I was.  I tried to hold back my feelings, and I was concerned that I would cry, but we ended up chatting on a friend level about life, rather than her having to play Dr.  What I didn't say was how much she impacted my life... she helped me to become what I always knew I was meant to be.  She helped to bring the joy and light of my life into being.  For that I will always be thankful.  Always.

So, cheers to you, Dr. Awesome.  I truly love you, and you've made such a difference.

1 comment:

  1. So glad you went back. I just emailed my clinic when my babe was born. But we took pics outside when I was pregnant too. I am beyond grateful...