Ethan's Age

Wednesday, July 18, 2012


Uh.  So I let fly on some jesus people today.

So, I just put down Ethan for a nap, and it was a rough time.  He had just started to do zombie baby noises, when I hear a loud knock on the door.  It's two jesus people with their bibles.  (One nicer looking young gal, and an older matron.)  Obviously, Freu barked, and since Ethan was on the edge, he started crying.

I knew Ethan would chill out, so I made Freu sit, and went out to talk to them.  The young gal was very nice and asked about my experience with church (HEH) and I didn't go into it, but she asked if I read the bible, etc (but she was VERY sweet) and I replied with no, etc.


So, I ended the conversation, and as they started to walk away, I said, "just for future reference, if there is a no soliciting sign, you shouldn't be knocking on my door. My infant son just woke up because you guys knocked."

The younger gal was immediately looking apologetic, and then the matron kicks in with; "well, we're not selling anything, so we will still be knocking!"


I replied, "well, actually, you aren't selling a 'thing' but an idea... so you are still soliciting."

She said, "Most people don't mind if we knock on their door, and also don't really know they have a no soliciting sign.  It is our organizations policy to knock anyway. So maybe you need to put something like 'baby sleeping' underneath so people don't knock on your door."

At this point I was fired up, because WTF??

I replied "so, you saw my sign and knocked anyway and now you are saying it's my job to amend my sign to make it so it looks like 'I really mean it?"

She says "well, its our organizations policy to knock anyway" (With a snarky face, like 'yeah? so?')

To which I immediately replied, "so, you should change your policy, I shouldn't have to add a bunch to my sign to make sure that it looks like I really mean it."

She then said "well, thanks for your feedback, but we won't be changing our sign."

I look over at the younger gal (maybe our age) and she is mouthing to me; "I'm SO sorry!"  (To which I smiled and made sure I acknowledged that towards her.)

I WAS SO PISSED that this lady from the church, instead of being understanding (uh, like Jesus?) was being combative and arguing about the nature of my sign.

She HAD NO IDEA what she was getting into when she decided to engage me.  Mix in waking up my son with religion and an argument about what my sign DOES OR DOES NOT MEAN???  OOOOOOPS!

I wish I knew what church they were representing, because I'd send a very serious email.  But, I did put a note on their car (which is parked on the side yard) to let the younger gal know that I'd be happy to chat with her via email, as I'm hoping to make sure their church (that they are representing) knows how this other lady came off to me.

OY.  Fun times at the my house.  Got my blood BOILING.

I got an email back from the sweet gal who knocked on my door.  I've taken out names, but I was so impressed that I wanted to put it here also. It was well thought out, kind, and genuine.  (Names, numbers, email addresses have been taken out)

this is the young lady who knocked on your door this morning.  First things first, I am so sorry to have awaken your son and to have put that burden upon you, interrupting your short time to get things done while he was sleeping, to have to stop and calm him down again.  I understand that must have been very irritating.

     I also apologize for my friend xxxxx.  Although she has been apart of this organization for longer than i have even been alive, this is really the first time that she is expanding in the bible ministry  to the fullest and has had some training but is going to an extensive class in a couple weeks.  Along with that class, I asure you that I will be speaking with her on Friday, that her response to you was completely unexceptable.  Trust me, we are trained to be polite, respectful, and to take our leave and keep the peace than to argue or prove a point.  Romans 12:18 says, "If possible, as far as it depends upon you, be peacable with all men."She means well and has a good heart, but she needs to be trained in how to speak with others and keep cool.  Once again, I am very sorry for her actions as well as waking your son.

   On another note, I would love to make arrangements to meet when convenient for you.  Here is my information:
cell: (xxx) xxx-xxxx feel free to call or email anytime.  

My name is Jolyn.  I am sorry we met under such circumstances, but I am looking forward to meeting again at better timing. I am very interested in your experience and hope i can be of help. Would Friday or Saturday work at all for you? If not let me know whenever and I will schedule accordingly to meet you.  Until then, take care Julia.


To which I replied:  (With some personal details taken out)


Oh good, I'm happy you got my note, as I noticed the gals with the car I put it on were different... but also holding bibles, so I hoped you would eventually get it!

I wanted to make sure you knew I wasn't upset with you, as I could see you genuinely understood the situation.  I also apologize for my inability to just let the matter drop, and for engaging xxxxx in an argument that really didn't matter in the long run.  Motherhood does weird things to you, let me tell you!  Naps are golden in my house and the precious few minutes to drink some coffee and watch silly tv shows like Big Brother are invaluable.  I was caught at a bad moment. I too understand how difficult it is to take the time to speak to unknown people about something you believe in.  You never know what you are going to get when you open that door, and I regret that my last impression was one of intolerance as that is truly not a reflection of who I am.

You see, I was once very embedded in the church, high up in the youth leader ministry of a local mega church in Portland.  I was actually enrolled in bible college (but didn't get around to attending.)  My dream was to be a youth pastor.  I believed very strong in what you were talking about, once.  Sadly, that all ended on a day in 2000.

(Personal details about my story with the church have been omitted, but I'm happy to share them if you email me.)

After many years of soul searching, therapy, and opportunities to support youth who have gone through the same thing, I feel I have integrated my experience into my life and made it work for me.  It has opened many doors to befriend women who have gone through similar experiences, and helped my heart to be soft towards those who have dealt with trauma.

There is a part of my heart that is empty, that was once filled with the feeling of belonging to a large group with a similar mission, purpose and heart for others.  However, since then I've been unable to walk through the doors of any church out of fear for my safety.  Most would find that statement quite odd, but I know better.  

Do I blame the church as a whole?  No.  But those who speak for the church, the ones that were supposed to protect me, and other youth who have been hurt within it's walls.  There are quite a few of us out there, sounds like to some degree your mother was burned by the church in one way or another.  The problem with hurts caused by the church is it isn't just emotional, it's spiritual as well... and it leaves people struggling to find out who they are and what they believe.  As for the former, I am a whole person and happy with how I've turned a horrid situation into something meaningful.  As for the latter, I am always seeking that which I have lost, even if it from a pulpit.

Anyway, that's my story.  Tell me about yours if you wish?  Why are you doing what you are doing?  Have you always been in the church?  What makes yours special? I enjoy a good conversation.  Sadly, with my son at home, one in my home can be problematic (not to mention my gigantic dog.) So email is probably the easiest :)


1 comment:

  1. Wait- so I shouldn't walk by and loudly pound on your door right now?? Bad timing huh. ;-P. lol I woulda been super pissed too- would have loved to see you in action though!!! ;-)