Ethan's Age

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Are you going to give Ethan a brother?

Linking up with the monthly theme post at PAIL; Considerations on Family Building

Barely a few days had passed since Ethan's arrival before several people asked, "So, when are you going to have another?"

The answer is... We aren't sure we are going to have another.

This topic makes me feel sad, honestly.  We worked so hard for Ethan, I just felt like we 'should' have another.  I mean, we put in so much time, pain, money, and heartache into the process... and now apparently my body is capable of listening, why wouldn't we?  Part of me wonders if it is the fact that my birth plan wasn't what I hoped.  Maybe if I had another I'd be fulfilled.  Part of me wants to have a sibling for Ethan.  Part of me just wants to have another for no explainable reason.

My role of being a mother is fulfilled, though.  I'm thrilled with my son and couldn't imagine my life without him.  But part of me longs to have a second.  The details are complicated though.  Do we have the financial ability to add another?  Do we want to go through those impossibly trying first months?  Do we have enough time to be the best parents possible to two?

The answer right now is no.  One thing we enjoy about our lives now is that we are able to juggle three roles very well.
Individual Jon and Julia
Husband and Wife
Mother and Father.

Adding another would upset the balance we have worked 7 months to create.  We have an amazing system for taking care of Ethan, while still giving us married time and time to be ourselves away from Ethan.  I think that's what makes us the parents that we are proud of.

I stay home and take care of Ethan all day long.  Then, M/W/F when Jon comes  home, he takes on Ethan (taking care of him in the evening, giving him a bath, and then putting him to bed.)  T/Th/Sa are my days, then we switch off Sundays.  It works awesome for us, allowing us to have time on and off.  This gives me a chance to go out and be an adult sometimes, which I crave after being around a baby all day long.  But, with another child, we'd always be on.  Always. 

I am open to having another, but right now we are so content.

And who wouldn't be with a handsome man like this?


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