Ethan's Age

Friday, February 3, 2012

Mom Group Black Widow

Over the past couple of weeks, I've slowly started to meander away from the comfort of my own home... where...
1.  Ethan can cry with abandon, and I don't worry about other people
2.  I have control over how clean I look, or not clean I look
3.  Where lack of back-up just doesn't matter as much
4.  Where I don't have to interact with others, especially since my topics would be sleep, (or lack there of) poop, (or abundance of) or my husband (or present lack of.)
5.  Where I don't have to think about the lack of current child-abundant friends (*disclaimer- child-abundant friends who have an infant.)

I've joined a mom group, where my goal is specifically to glean new mom friends (as the group itself isn't really topically stimulating, let's be honest.)  I feel silly, like a 3 year old at the playground following other kids around saying "will you be my friend?"  In this group, you have to be more subtle than that.  You have to wooooooo them.  ;) 

There are those women in the group who know everything, and the women who know nothing, and the women who are way too put together with their dyed & curled hair and manicured nails to know exactly what it's REALLY like to parent an infant... 

And there are the ones who are way to "granola" for me to feel like I'm doing anything right with their cloth diaper coversations, and their "I wash my kid in baking soda, will breastfeed until they are 10, why don't you care enough about your baby to only use organic sheets that you can also eat for your baby?"

So, it's a social sifting process.  I closely watch and listen to the people in the group, to decide who I want to date as my potential friends.  It's an experiment, to be sure.  I don't feel I fit in with the 20 somethings (generally) and don't feel I fit in with the late 30 somethings (generally) so there is such a small window of people who are ripe for the friend picking.

Thankfully, (I'd like to think), I've managed to glean two people thus far (who even have decided I am worth Facebook Friending, the ultimate sign of acceptability) with the hopes of a couple more that I have my eye on. 

I feel like I'm stalking prey.  YOU WILL BE MY FRIEND, or I will EAT YOU.  :)

(Cue my two new mom-group friends reading this, and then de-friending me out of fear that I will consume them, once I'm through with them.... like a black widow spider.)

I promise not to eat you.
Maybe.

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