Ethan's Age

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Infertility not forgotten

Sadly, over the past few weeks, several people that have blogs I am following are talking down about us infertiles who are now pregnant.

I caught myself for a couple days feeling guilty for finally getting pregnant.  As if, now that I am pregnant, the past two years of infertility treatments, surgical procedures, medications and invasive procedures are now discounted.

Now, I'm not going to say that I didn't get sad or frustrated when people got pregnant, because that would be a lie.  However, when my fellow infertiles finally hit the jackpot, I had to rejoice with them.  (After I sent a little thought of "ok, my turn" into the universe.)

For a moment, I was doubting about continuing to talk about my pregnancy in this blog, due to a recent post of a blog I just read about how I'm (I'm=pregnant people) smug about my new found pregnant body.  How these newly pregnant people now just post about their pregnant body symptoms, their cravings, nausea or whatever. 

For two years, I've wanted to blog about these very things.  I've watched as others have posted their weekly updates, and longed for the chance to be nauseous or endure incredible fatigue.  I've commented on fellow infertile's blogs who got pregnant, but I've not publicly shamed them for sharing with the world their struggles and triumph.  It's karma, I suppose. And guess what?  It's my time. 

This is not me being smug.  I've put in my dues, and if there is any doubt, check out the "My Journey" tab, and you will realize that I am not just a Duggar mom, pushing out babies, or complaining when it took me only 2 months to get pregnant.  2 years later, I AM relishing in my pregnancy, I AM enjoying the idea that in less than 7 months, I will be holding a little life that we both worked so hard for. 

I have no doubt that I will do the same things that I lovely mocked.  Yes, my baby is the size of a fruit.   I mocked, but in a tongue-in-cheek manner.  Never out of cruelty. 

So, if you are someone who doesn't want to read about how this infertile finally graduated and is now pregnant, please feel free to not read.  If you are someone who is too hurt by someone blogging about being pregnant, I've been there!  I won't be offended.  (And I've left blogs because of that reason so don't feel bad!)

But this is where I am now, I am expecting.  I will not be ashamed to write about this new journey, just like I wrote about the last one.  I love all of you.  Honestly. 

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