Ethan's Age

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Be Your Best Advocate

I've never been accused of not having strong opinions.  I am very passionate in what I believe, and who I believe in.  I am fiercely loyal, until I'm crossed, then I become your worst enemy.  It's one of my best qualities, and one of my greatest weaknesses.

I finally got a call about my final beta blood draw to confirm that my body has gone back down to pre-pregnancy levels.  My beta number was 2, which meant that my body was pregnancy free.  I was advised to wait one full cycle to start trying again.  I chatted with Jon tonight, and though it pains me to have to wait, the consequences (rare as they might be) would be unbearable. My RE wanted me to go through yet another ultrasound.  I said no.

I just don't want to keep subjecting myself to more and more tests (which have become more and more invasive.)  I suppose the taste of pregnancy has spoiled me.  I know what my body can do, and I just don't want to wait! But I will, because I should.

As a sexual assault survivor, the whole journey of TTC is compounded by unwanted ties to a horrible event in my life.  The irony, that the act that I avoid the most is the act that produces what will make me feel complete.

So, one month off it is.  I'm impatient. I'm also lacking any filter in getting what I want.  Tests that I don't need are out.  Doing things my way is in.


I strongly encourage all of you to ask lots of questions when it comes to your own journey, whether it is TTC or just in general life.  Through asking questions, I've avoided thousands of dollars in tests and unneeded medical procedures.  Try not to be intimidated.  Ask why a test is needed and what the consequences are if you don't have it.  Then make your own decision.

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