Ethan's Age

Friday, August 13, 2010

Privacy Setting Update

I've received close to 100 emails about the idea that I will be privatizing my blog.  What I didn't realize is that it would be restricted from your google readers, and thus, most of you wouldn't get updates when I post.  This isn't OK for me.

Initially, it was to keep my blog from becoming fodder in the world of my personal life.  However, after further reflection, I realized that I started the blog to be open, honest and blunt about issues that face infertile women. These issues aren't pretty.  They aren't clear cut, or pretty but they need to be discussed.  What struck me was how many people emailed me to share stories about  their own struggles with the roles of friends, family, or other people as it pertains to their future children.

The past few days events have me torn.  Do I continue to expose my feelings and worry about being attacked for it, or do I shrink away in fear of what others might say.  I've never lived my life questioning the way I feel, and so I have decided to keep this blog public.

The one statement I'd like to provide, and then I would like to move past this present issue is this.  If you don't want to read what I am writing, don't.  You may not like what I have to say, but regardless, this blog is based on my feelings, my experiences and my truths.  Will they always line up with your feelings, your experiences, or your truths?  No, they won't.  But that doesn't make all of those things invalid or incorrect for me. 

I received a thought out email from the anonymous commenter explaining what prompted their comment.  Though I disagree with the way it was stated, I have to move forward.  One thing I would like to make clear is this;  Positive thinking is a wonderful tool.  As stated in the email from the commenter "positive thoughts can't hurt."  I totally agree, and this is what has carried me through the past year and a half of this struggle to conceive.  However, positive thinking just isn't enough most of the time.  Medical intervention, time, and patience are key factors in conceiving, whether you struggle with infertility or not. 

I would also like to mention, that my life is more wonderful, more beautiful, and more happy than I could ever imagine.  I do not deserve any pity, as my life can't possibly get any better.  This infertility is a bump in the road, but the road still leads to amazing places. 

I responded to the comment with a blog post, but I felt as though my post was unacceptable to put out there, so I deleted it.  The comment was made in the heat of the moment, and lord knows I've done my far share of "heat of the moment things."  I am not a negative person, so I will be moving forward.  My original solution of requiring people to "sign in" when leaving a comment still stands.  I will also be deleting any comments that I feel will negatively affect my readers.  If you would like to have a conversation, in case of a disagreement with what I have said, please email me at prettymuchjulia@gmail.com.  I would be more than happy to engage in civil discussions.

I have not regretted one thing I've shared on this blog.  The pain of infertility, the actual pain of the HSG procedure.  The comical relief of Clomid Side Effects, whether to take my socks off, the devastation when I take yet another pregnancy test and it comes back negative. The struggles of growing up and deciding what is right for me, my husband, and our future family.  The raw emotion that has been poured out on this blog. The relationship with the most wonderful human being I could ever ask to be my husband, the support of my mother, my in-laws and my friends.  And your support. 

Thank you for showing me how much you care.  Many of you I know in the real world, and you all know what my character is like, and you know that I will do anything to support any of you.  For those of you whom I will never meet, thank you for sharing a few minutes in your day to laugh or cry with me.  Your support means more to me than you will ever know.

A friend of mine once sent me a poignant reminder of what is important.  "Friends are the family you chose for yourself."  Thank you, for being my family.  I am blessed beyond belief, and this event proved it.

Thank you.

Much love,
Julia and Jon

4 comments:

  1. So glad that you are not going private, I like reading your updates and it is nice to see others in the blog world that are having similar experiences. Eventually I am sure that I will have to write a blog similar to the one you wrote today. And yes, positive thinking and relaxing just won't do it for some people...I need treatment to conceive and I am finally ok with it.

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  2. You're an amazing person. :)

    ~Naomi M

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