Ethan's Age

Friday, July 23, 2010

Going Postal.

Well, not really.  But, sadly, my chance for this cycle came to an end.  I had a couple of faint positives, and word from the dr is that my Hcg was enough to know that it probably was fertilized, but didn't implant. 
I suppose that's a step in the right direction.

I will now take this opportunity to talk about my frustration with the medical profession as a whole.
*Disclaimer- I really like my current RE and her staff.  Dr and Nurse Awesome are fabulous. 

1.  I had a horrible OB/GYN over at Providence St. Vincent (same place that Dr Awesome is at though) who was completely not helpful and downplayed the idea that my irregular cycles WERE NOT NORMAL.

2.  Another OB/GYN (who's only redeeming quality was refering me to Dr Awesome and starting me on Clomid.)  Since then, she's been miscoding my visits, costing us thousands of dollars, and wants to see me monthly to renew my sleep medication though I've been taking it for years now.  I think the only reason is to charge us more.  Do Drs Have billable hours even if they are in a group?  She is coding our visits as infertility because that's the word I used when I had my first appt.  But really, the cause was irregular periods, not infertility.  She said that was the main reason I was there (infertility) thus I was being billed that way.  My husband makes a point that if I came in there because I was concerned about cancer, woudl I billed for treatment of cancer?  Sigh.

What a shit show.

What makes me so frustrated is that I can't seem to get what I need when I need it.  I really am a nice girl, until you try to screw with me.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Is this month the month?

The past few days have been riddled with outward signs that we might have hit the jackpot.  Let's Recap.

1.  I spend more time peeing than I do basically doing anything else. 
Could be that I'm drinking an absurd amount of liquids, but I don't think I am. (I swear, I just went 20 minutes ago, and I have to go AGAIN!) Side note, I peed twice during the writing of this blog entry.

2.  Weird foods (and weird amounts of foods) are crossing my mind as delicious.
Mostly though, I've been eating like a horse, and like it's going out of style.  I need an offensive amount of snacks to make it through my evening.  Thankfully tonight I limited myself to a large bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats with Raspberries and a huge bowl of popcorn. (Which I shared with the dog, to be fair.  well, 30 kernels or so.) And yes, that is deviled eggs with soft serve ice cream and salad in the picture.  No, I didn't make that.

3.  I feel like a tank.
Maybe it's the amount of snack food that I am eating but I feel like 80 pounds heavier today than I did, like 2 weeks ago.

4.  Vivid Dreams
Ok, so maybe the world isn't coming to an end by way of huge flapjacks falling from the sky (a la Spaghetti with a Chance of Meatballs) but you'd think it was.  A few nights ago, I scared the crap out of my husband when I woke up yelling that he was covered in spiders.   He wasn't.  And he was also not amused.  (I thought it was funny the next day.  He was still sore about it.)

5. Nausea
Oh man, do I feel like I've caught a rodent in my stomach, and it's just running through a hamster wheel of puke.  I've not yaked yet, but not for lack of feeling like it!  Good times!

6.  Just the feeling
I just feel pregnant!

And so, I obsess about every little sign (and probably have psychosematically created some more signs) and work on my birth plan.  I'm not going to lie.  Epidurals scare the crap out of me, since I've experienced a botched Spinal Tap where I was leaking spinal fluid for days (let me tell you, the feeling of your brain sloshing into your skull is not pleasant, surprisingly enough.)  However, pain is something I have a VERY LOW tolerance for.

So.  I've decided to skip birth.  I'm not sure why everyone does the whole birth thing, but I'm going to skip it.  "Beam it out Scotty, beam it out."

Just as a side note, if we do end up getting pregnant, we will not be announcing it here for a while.  (Well, this is the plan, and yet, probably we will.)  But we also want to make sure that the important people in our lives hear it from US first, and not from a well written blog. (Let's also not forget the idea that twins could be in my future!)

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Two? What do you mean two?

Well, as I've mentioned before in previous blog posts, the reason I've not been able to concieve in the past year and a half is that the tube on the side I ovulate from is blocked.  We've done our very best to try with medication (Clomid) over that time and nothing has worked.

Well, this month I bumped up our Clomid dose to 150mg.  This has been a riot, Alice, because I've gotten hot flashes like nobodies business.  (AND OMG CRAMPS a week ago!) I've been faithfully OPK-ing (which, yes, this is now a verb in my life.) and had an ultrasound today.  I got a OPK+ this morning, and it just so happened that it was the same day as my appt, hoooray!

I've been getting so much better about not getting my hopes up at these appts.  With so many appts ending in "well, maybe next cycle" (as we can't use "month, because each cycle is 2 months). 

My ultrasound revealed great news!

<------ This is a picture of not one, but 2 follicles with eggs in them ON THE CORRECT SIDE!!

This is the first month in a year and a half that I could actually get pregnant.  Don't tell my husband, but if I did, there is a good chance of twins too!

I called my husband all excited, and he was not as excited as I would have hoped.  I was looking for a "WOW, THAT'S AWESOME NEWS!" (Note, I've not mentioned the twins thing, because that freaks him out.  That will be our little secret, you, me and the entire series of tubes that is the internets.)

No IUI this month, by choice.  Just the idea that I do in fact have a chance now,

Hang in there motherhood, here I come!!!