Ethan's Age

Monday, June 7, 2010

Struggling to Understand Where I'm at, Exactly.

After today's appointment, it sure looks like I ovulated again from the side where I have a blocked tube.  This is quite discouraging as you might imagine.  I've begun the process of grieving a child that I will never know.  I feel alone and discouraged.

Edited to add:  My husband is the most loving, kind and understanding person I could ever hope to have in my life.  Despite this, I have a sense of alone-ness on this issue.  The idea that I might never be able to carry a child is a large driving force behind my feelings.  

To recap, basically it looks like I don't ovulate, except on my blocked side. Options go as follows:

1.  Repeat the HSG.  ($$$)
It's possible my tube is not blocked, however unlikely, and a repeat procedure could show that.  The idea that my tube spasm-ed during the test is probable, but this may not have caused the blockage seen on the test.

2.  Laproscopy. ($$$$)
Outpatient surgery, but surgery none the less.  Not high on my, or my doctor's high priority list.

3.  Increase exponentially the amount of Clomid I take. ($)
This seems like the most rational and least costly option.  What do I have to los with this option?

4.  A Stairstep increase of dosage, with internal ultrasounds frequently to chart what is going on and whether drugs are working. ($$-$$$)

5.  Injectable medication ($$$)

6. Adoption. ($$$$$)

So.  That's where I am at.

I'm not sure what else to say, but I feel like I should talk about it.  I feel defeated.  Though this sort of post might inspire the *hugs* or *hang in there's*  I don't really want those.  If you have something to share that might be insightful as to where I am at (with your own experience, etc) please share.

7 comments:

  1. Well...

    I just had a laproscopic procedure 10 days ago myself and it really wasn't all that bad. I was off any pain pills (including ibuprofen) 3 days later and today I feel pretty much back to normal. Not that you're looking into this option but just to add my two cents...

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  2. Mo,
    Thanks for the input! I'm not super thrilled about surgery, but it's more the cost. Do I invest the cost in that, or channel it to an adoption fee?

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  3. Julia... kind of a personal question, but have you had any cervical mucus during your cycles (despite what the OPK's say)?

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  4. SS-
    Yes, I have, of various types. It seems to back up my OPKs.

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  5. I had a laprascopic cyst removal, and because of an allergy, I recovered entirely without pain medication. I was back on my feet within a couple days. So if it comes to that, just know it's not as scary as it seems.

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  6. Obviously I don't have any experience in this but from what I understand the adoption process is a long one. Maybe you can put yourself on a list and in the meantime and increase your Clomid. I don't know why I'm even commenting as you've likely already thought of this.

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  7. Sarie,
    For sure. However, the issue with that is the cost. It's expensive as well as lengthy.

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