Ethan's Age

Monday, June 7, 2010

Struggling to Understand Where I'm at, Exactly.

After today's appointment, it sure looks like I ovulated again from the side where I have a blocked tube.  This is quite discouraging as you might imagine.  I've begun the process of grieving a child that I will never know.  I feel alone and discouraged.

Edited to add:  My husband is the most loving, kind and understanding person I could ever hope to have in my life.  Despite this, I have a sense of alone-ness on this issue.  The idea that I might never be able to carry a child is a large driving force behind my feelings.  

To recap, basically it looks like I don't ovulate, except on my blocked side. Options go as follows:

1.  Repeat the HSG.  ($$$)
It's possible my tube is not blocked, however unlikely, and a repeat procedure could show that.  The idea that my tube spasm-ed during the test is probable, but this may not have caused the blockage seen on the test.

2.  Laproscopy. ($$$$)
Outpatient surgery, but surgery none the less.  Not high on my, or my doctor's high priority list.

3.  Increase exponentially the amount of Clomid I take. ($)
This seems like the most rational and least costly option.  What do I have to los with this option?

4.  A Stairstep increase of dosage, with internal ultrasounds frequently to chart what is going on and whether drugs are working. ($$-$$$)

5.  Injectable medication ($$$)

6. Adoption. ($$$$$)

So.  That's where I am at.

I'm not sure what else to say, but I feel like I should talk about it.  I feel defeated.  Though this sort of post might inspire the *hugs* or *hang in there's*  I don't really want those.  If you have something to share that might be insightful as to where I am at (with your own experience, etc) please share.


  1. Well...

    I just had a laproscopic procedure 10 days ago myself and it really wasn't all that bad. I was off any pain pills (including ibuprofen) 3 days later and today I feel pretty much back to normal. Not that you're looking into this option but just to add my two cents...

  2. Mo,
    Thanks for the input! I'm not super thrilled about surgery, but it's more the cost. Do I invest the cost in that, or channel it to an adoption fee?

  3. Julia... kind of a personal question, but have you had any cervical mucus during your cycles (despite what the OPK's say)?

  4. SS-
    Yes, I have, of various types. It seems to back up my OPKs.

  5. I had a laprascopic cyst removal, and because of an allergy, I recovered entirely without pain medication. I was back on my feet within a couple days. So if it comes to that, just know it's not as scary as it seems.

  6. Obviously I don't have any experience in this but from what I understand the adoption process is a long one. Maybe you can put yourself on a list and in the meantime and increase your Clomid. I don't know why I'm even commenting as you've likely already thought of this.

  7. Sarie,
    For sure. However, the issue with that is the cost. It's expensive as well as lengthy.