Ethan's Age

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Currently, I'm on day 44 of this cycle. This could be a good thing (as I could be potentially day sixteen DPO) or a bad thing... if my Clomid isn't working.

I thankfully have one more cycle of Clomid, and I think I can convince my doctor to let me go a few more cycles.

I've gotten off track temp taking. Over the past 4 days, I've been battling a fever. I have no idea what my body is up to. If I have a period in the next couple of days, I'll be pretty close to last month, and have a pretty good idea of what to expect.

I'm tired... really. I'm tired of not being able to do something so basic as getting pregnant. It's SO frustrating.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Day 37

Fertility Friend isn't really speaking my language this month, and it's a bit confused. Theoretically, I would be late now if I ovulated when I thought. Otherwise, I'd be late in 2 days, if it's the same as last month. Still negative though.

The girl in my office is having a boy. (You know, the one who got married the same day as I did?) That's the one. I'm happy, I really am. But, when I heard it, I was sad. (I teared up. What a pansy!)

Still emotional, like I said yesterday. Obviously.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Roller Coaster of Emotions

Today, I'm at work and practically in tears. I'm not sure why, but everything just seems off. Could wild emotions mean pregnancy? Absolutely. Am I getting my hopes up? No. (Read: *Yes*.) It's officially day 36 today, and my cycle last month was 39 days. I'm hopeful still, regardless of a - on a test this morning. (I thought I O'd on a certain day, 4 days earlier, but I may have O'd later, making my cycle 39 days instead.)

I really just want to go home and sleep. I feel crummy.

I find that I'm emotionally and physically exhausted from finishing my big 5K goal over the weekend, and a sad conversation with a friend. I can't help but wonder if my wild emotions are a result from that.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Day 34

Tomorrow is Day 34. Last cycle was 39 days.
I've tested, and tested. (3 times, shhh, don't tell.) Yet again, I've been pushing for some stock options on "peeonastickinc", as we could fund our future kid (or lack there of)'s college fund.

I don't feel super funky, but I've had a lot of cramping in the past week. Psychosomatic? Maybe, but that could be a sign of implantation.

If this cycle doesn't work, I have one more Clomid Cycle before moving to the next step.

And yet, there is that hope. Secretly, I oogle children's clothing, and try not to get caught staring at people's pregnant bodies. I want to be able to say that I'm pregnant, and I have a secret desire to be able to announce it at the Christmas Dinner this year (3 months in, if we hit it this time around.) Everyone and their mom is pregnant right now, including many friends who I just don't think should be, or want to be (this sounds SO much more judging than I mean it.)

In other news, I'm pursuing an interest of mine in Massage Therapy. I'm investigating various local colleges that can help me get a LMT License. Ironically, one of the colleges are actually right downstairs in my office building. How convenient would that be?

Monday, September 14, 2009

HSG

A common Infertility Test, I found a great resource that explained the procedure thoroughly, and thought you might like to read about it.

Hysterosalpingogram(HSG)
Fertility testing can often be a daunting procedure. Many couples stuggling with fertility issues have to undergo dozens of tests in order to find out what is at the bottom of their infertility. A hysterosalpingogram (HSG) is a very common fertility test that most women struggling with infertility will undergo. The hysterosalpingogram can help to pinpoint specific fertility problems and may help you to decide on an appropriate treatment.

What is a Hysterosalpingogram?A hysterosalpingogram is a fertility test used to detect uterine and fallopain health. The HSG test uses x-ray technology to create a picture of the uterus and fallopian tubes. When you undergo an HSG test, colored dye is injected into you uterus. This dye then travels up through the fallopian tubes and out into the abdominal cavity. The HSG allows your health care provider to determine if there is any damage to your reproductive system.

What Can a Hysterosalpigogram Detect? Generally, the HSG fertility test is used to detect abnormalities in your uterus or fallopian tubes. The HSG dye will indicate any damage or blockages in your fallopian tubes. The dye will also highlight the shape of your uterus. However, an HSG test can sometimes also indicate:
uterine fibroids
uterine polyps
adhesions or scar tissue
endometriosis

Who Needs a Hysterosalpingogram? An HSG test is offered to women seeking fertility treatment. The HSG test helps to determine overall uterine health and is an excellent way of pinpointing fertility difficulties. Every woman seeking help in becoming pregnant should have an HSG exam.

Hysterosalpingogram and Fertility: Besides being able to detect uterine and tubal abnormalities, the HSG test has also been shown to increase pregnancy rates in some women. The HSG test sometimes helps to clear fallopian tubes of debris or blockages. This can enable some women with fertility issues to become pregnant.

The Hysterosalpingogram Procedure:The HSG procedure is typically performed in the radiology department of you local hospital. It is an outpatient procedure, which means that you will be able to go home immediately following the test. The procedure itself is relatively quick - it only takes about five minutes to actually perform - however, you may be asked to answer some questions before the HSG test begins. The HSG procedure is performed as follows:
You lie on an examination table and bring your knees up to your chest. You allow your knees to fall outwards, towards the table.A speculum is placed in your vagina, in order to expose your cervix.
A thin catheter is inserted through your cervix and into your uterus.
Dye is slowly released through the catheter into your uterine cavity.
X-rays are taken as the dye flows into the fallopian tubes and spills out into the abdominal cavity.
You will be asked to turn on to your side, so that further x-rays can be taken
After the HysterosalpingogramAfter the last x-rays have been taken, you will be asked to remain lying down for a few minutes. You may notice some light abdominal cramping. After a few minutes, you can get dressed. Your test results will likely be available immediately after the procedure.

Complications of a Hysterosalpingogram: As with any diagnostic procedure, there are some complications associated with the HSG test. However, complications are rare, occuring in only 1% of all patients. Possible complications include:
spotting
fainting
uterine infection
iodine dye allergy

The Results: Your health care provider will sit down with you to explain the results of your HSG test. Normal results will show no blockages in your fallopian tubes and and a uterus that is of natural size and shape. Abnormal results could show one or more blockages in your fallopian tubes, uterine adhesions, or an unusual uterine shape.

After the Hysterosalpingogram: If your HSG test results come back normal, this means that there is no detectable problem with your uterus or fallopian tubes. Further testing may be required to determine where your fertility issues stem from.
If your HSG results come back abnormal, this means that there is some sort of problem with your uterus or fallopian tubes. Treatment will depend on the specific problem that your health care provider detects.

Just Chillin'

Well, I'm in the middle of the two week wait, assuming that I ovulated on time. I have 5 more days before testing can commence, and I have to admit I already tested on Friday. As if some pregnancy fairy could come down and say "yes, 5 DPO, I'll just give you a preview." Sadly, this is not the case.

In theory, if I O'ed when I think I did, we'd have a great chance this month.

The idea of what we are trying to do has hit me full force. In the same way that Jon feels "out of control" in the process, I feel a huge burden of "total responsibility." It's hard to think about how every little thing will have a direct impact on a developing child both in and out of the womb. This looming responsibilty is beyond and responsibility I've ever had in my life.

This has brought up several intense conversations regarding what is ok for both of us during this time of TTC and pregnancy. Thankfully, we have a great marraige and are able to work through each problem as it comes. We are both fully committed to this process, and neither one of us has faced having a kid before, so it's a given that we won't know what to do and that there will be bumps in the road.

It's so cliche, but I hold to little gems of cheesy wisdom like "no one is born knowing how to be a perfect parent." I'm thankful for all my experience with kids, and I know that will help me when the child is 3-18 years old. If I can just keep all three of us alive for the baby-3 years part, we'll be alright.

In the mean time, I am doing whatever I can to be busy for the next 5 days. I can expect to test on Friday or Saturday. I've also signed up for my first 5K, the Race for the Cure, here in Portland, and I'm really excited. I've not been as fit as I am right now since Elementary School. I caught myself having "bummer" thoughts when I just ran one mile this morning, then walked a quarter of a mile, then another mile. I had a reality check, and thought about how 5 weeks ago I couldn't run even one mile... so I'm cruising!

I hope all is well with all of you. Thank you for stopping by. In the past month I've had over 1200 hits to this Blog! If you follow me regularly, please click on the "Follow Me" link to the left of the page. It gives me a happy feeling to know that people are following my blog!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Oh Body, You Certainly Cannot Make Up Your Mind

Well, I thought I was past my O date, but my temp this morning was a bit confusing.
Let's talk a bit about temperatures and what they mean.

Every morning, before you get out of bed, you throw a thermometer in your mouth to check your temp. If you get up beforehand, it is invalid, as activity adjusts your resting temp. You will need a Basal Thermometer, which you can find at your local drug store. You cannot use a normal mercury one, you must have a basal. This is because the Basal can temp much closer to actual temp, and to the tenth of a degree.

So, when you have your period, your temp remains pretty consistant. For me, it's around 97.7ish. Right before your ovulation date, many people's temperatures take a bit of a dip. In my case, around 2 tenths of a degree. Some people don't have the temp dip before the Ovulation Date (O-Day.) When you ovulate, you will see a significant temperature jump. For me, last month, my temp jump was almost a full degree (8 tenths). Once you notice a temperature jump around the expected O-Day, you have already Ovulated. This means, that no matter what you do, you cannot change whether you will get pregnant this month. You will know that your high temp has signified O-Day if your temp stays around the same high for at least 3 days. (I stayed up there for about 2 weeks.) It will go back down again right before or on the first day of your period.

I've been told that when you are successful, and pregnant, you will see another level of high temps above the O-Day high temps around week 2. This has been tied to implantation of the egg into the wall of the womb. I'd suggest charting your temps for several months before TTC. This is a great way to see what is normal for you.

This month, what I thought was a spike, then dipped down again, and it isn't high. So, I may not have O-ed yet.

I hope that was informative! Feel free to post comments or questions!

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Update

Well, I noticed that I hadn't posted in a while, so I thought I'd make a bit of an update. I finished my 2nd round of clomid a couple of weeks ago (maybe a week and a half?) and I am faithfully using OPK's to try to anticipate the big O.

Interestingly, I never seem to have enough hormones to bump the OPK's to a significant solid line. I do have faint lines and some are a bit more prominently faint? And yet, I continue to try to use them, and we'll see. My temp has drastically dropped this morning about a full degree over the past 2 days down to 96.59. Jon says it looks like the latest stock market trend. I'm hoping this is a pre-o temp drop, which could place the O today or tomorrow. According to last month's chart, tomorrow would be right on schedule, if I dare to hope that I actually have a schedule to depend on. Regardless, we will do our best to hit the timing.

I'm not going to lie, trying to get pregnant definitely has it's down sides. Pre-planning encounters isn't really awesome, especially when they weren't really fun anyway. (On my end, due to my history.) I'm actually starting to hope for pregnancy for a whole other reason, the idea that we can stop all these night time shenanigans altogether. Oh well.

I hesitate to hope, but this month is definitely the one where we were armed with the information to do it right. After this month though, I may have Jon go in to be tested to make sure it isn't him.

Meanwhile, school is starting, and work is busy as ever. It's good, because it keeps my mind off "all things baby" while I'm here. Unless I'm fielding inappropriate conversations.