Ethan's Age

Friday, November 20, 2009

*We don't talk about that.*

Well, here it is. The infamous SA post.

It never ceases to amaze me how sensitive this topic is. Us girls can talk about not having the right amount of eggs, or whatever… but heaven forbid we talk about the male being a cause of infertility. We place our business out there for everyone to see, and they get to go to a room, do their thing, and leave. Fair? I think not.

So, let’s go forward with the assumption that this is not an embarrassing topic. My husband, being of the rare breed he is, was not embarrassed. I hesitate to go into the details of why his experience was REALLY hilarious, but I did ask permission before posting this at all.

So, the results? His motility is only 50%. “Normal” is 60-100%. There will be a re-test in two weeks to confirm the results.

Is this the end of the world? No.

Does it make me feel a whole bunch better? Yes.

Something about the fact that I am not the sole reason that TTC has been hard for us. A weight of proverbial shame has been lifted guilt has been lifted off my shoulders.

What struck me funny was that when Jon told me, he then said: “Well, I had told myself that if I was at 0%, you could leave the marriage.”

“*Wait what?*” I said.

“Well, it’s the one thing in the world you really want. If I can’t give that too you, but you married me with the understanding that we would have them… I’d have to let you go.” Jon reasoned.

*Once a lawyer, always a lawyer.*

I assured him that even if it was at 0% that would not cause me to even think about leaving the marriage. There are many other options, donors, IUI, IVF… Adoption… Divorce seems like a silly thing. Would that be listed under irreconcilable differences? Reason? : Low Sperm Count.

I’ll be filing later today.



  1. you know, my husband was really okay with it too. he was mostly normal (had a very high count, so his percentage of normal ones were low comparably, but he still had plenty "normal" ones) but there was never a question about him completing a SA. When I told the doctor we wanted to do one, he was shocked! My doc said he normally doesn't bring it up unless the couple does because most men won't want to do it. So let me get that straight... we have to take the birth control and be responsible for all of our fertility? That's fair, huh?

  2. I can see how ANYONE would be embarrassed putting their reproductive abilities out for everyone to see, men or women. Though I AM surprised how much testing women go through before its even thought that men should be tested. Especially how relatively easy it is for men to be tested.

    Did you do the time-honored debating tactic of turning the tables on him? If YOUR chance of conceiving a child was 0%, would that mean he feels HE would be justified in divorcing you? I am pretty sure he'd say no. :)